Desert Rose
by Varmint
Summary: This'll be a collection of Baki-centric one-shots. Most will be romantic. Some will not. Chapter Ten: "Hasta que Caiga el Sol (este amor continuará)". Ever since the day he met Baki, the strong and levelheaded genin from Suna, Obito only knew one thing with one hundred percent certainty: Baki was different. And he liked different. Baki/Obito!
1. BakixKiba Modern AU

So, I've noticed something incredibly sad about this fandom: There's not much love for Baki! So I've decided to do my best and fix that small issue, one one-shot at a time. This'll be the place where I post one-shots that are not related in any way other than having Baki as the main character. Most of them will be romantic and with different partners. But maybe there'll be some platonic chapters, who knows?

_Chapter Title:__ Hey, You're Hotter Than I Expected- No, I Was Not Trying to Steal Anything; I Swear_

Summary: Kiba's a thief that was trying to steal some of the ancient artifacts the renown archaeologist, Baki, housed within his home/museum. He gets caught and has to act fast. Then he accidentally notices just how enamored he was with the (unexpectedly fit) archaeologist. Modern AU. Archaeologist!Baki. Thief!Kiba.

_Pairing:_ Baki/Kiba

A/N/P.S.A: Baki and Kiba's names have the same letters, but in a different sequence. This is literally the only reason why I even came up with this. That is the only connection I could think of for these two. But can't no one stop me when it comes to creating a rare-pair!

Also, Kiba's twenty years old; Baki's thirty; and Akamaru's a horrible look-out.

Please enjoy!~

..~..~..

Breaking into the two story building wasn't difficult. For a man that was known around the world for his great archaeological discoveries, Baki had allowed his security to lax. And Kiba Inuzuka was extremely grateful about that.

What he _wasn't_ grateful for, though, was Akamaru sleeping on the job.

Because the dog had decided to be lazy, Kiba hadn't been alerted to Baki's sudden arrival to the first floor of his home.

Seeing the dark skinned archaeologist elicited difficult to understand emotions within the young thief. On one hand, he was terrified because he knew the police were just a phone call away- and he was just one more break-in away from severe punitive actions brought on by the justice system. On the other hand, all of the pictures he had seen of the man did him absolutely no justice; this man was incredibly handsome. And somewhere in between both those hands, Kiba was feeling the slightest bit starstruck.

Yes, he was a thief. Of course, he had been planning on selling these ancient Japanese _tessen_ to the highest bidder- he was in deep debt from both the college studies he hadn't finished _and_ his sister's medical bills. And, okay, yeah, what he knew about these particular war fans wasn't much other than that they were supposedly used by samurai somewhere around the 16th century AD- so his knowledge of how much he would get for them was more in ballpark figures rather than actual _plausible_ prices.

But, desperate as he may have been to make money, he knew that Baki Hoshizora was one of the brightest minds within the international archaeology community and his findings were all of great importance and enriched the world they lived in. He was very aware that everything within this museum was patrimony to _all_ of humanity, not just the Asian countries Baki had excavated. He felt somewhat guilty over stealing the _tessen_, but he _needed the money._

"The museum is closed." Baki's voice was gruff and deep, but subtly dusted with exhaustion. In the darkness they were engulfed by, Kiba couldn't see if he had bugs under his eyes. "We open tomorrow morning. You can come back then."

Kiba blinked at the man, then glanced at the floor. There was a dark backpack clearly beside him. He was crouched and wearing incredibly dark clothes. It was _obvious_ he was up to no good. But the archaeologist didn't seem to connect any of those dots.

That was... _good_. Kiba could use this!

With a small yawn, Baki stepped forward and in the direction of the main door to the whole house, "Please, if you would follow me."

Kiba couldn't leave empty handed. Not tonight.

Maybe if he got close enough... Kiba smiled at the plan he just now created!

Slowly, the young man stood up from the ground and stretched out his arms. Then he scooped his backpack up and shouldered it before he began to walk in the direction where the older male was.

"I'm sorry." he began, hoping to keep his voice from trembling too much. He may have stolen dozens of things before, but he had _never_ stole anything from anyone he _actually respected_ before. "I just... I can't pay the entrance fee. And I _really_ wanted to see this exhibition... I'm sorry."

When he stepped into the hallway Baki was in- the very hallway he had crept through only a handful of minutes ago to reach the exhibition room that held his target-, it was to find Akamaru sleeping. He frowned down at the dog, suddenly feeling the need to kick him awake, but stopped himself just short of doing it. Even though he and Akamaru were accustomed to abusing of one another, lots of people misconstrued their unique dynamic with violence. And he didn't want Baki thinking that of him.

"Oh."

The light suddenly turned on and Kiba was able to get a good look of one of the youngest archaeologist to ever be taken seriously... and found himself beginning to sweat. But it wasn't because of guilt. It was because Baki Hoshizora was unexpectedly _hot._

In all of the pictures Kiba had seen of the man, he had been clad in thick and clunky desert dwelling robes. Most of those pictures were taken during his first expedition, the only one that had been publicized because Baki had needed sponsors for his dig. He had changed his scenery to much less arduous climates since then, but in all the other pictures, his clothes were still bulky and obscured how perfectly muscled his body actually was.

Within all of his pictures, no matter what the occasion, the left side of his face was always covered up by a white cloth and the top of his head by a white headdress. He had never explained why it was he wore such a peculiar fashion- there were rumors that said it was because his face was horribly mangled; other, more believable rumors said it was because of a cultural thing.

At this moment, Baki was wearing comfy looking pajama pants, a hastily thrown on dark robe, and no shirt. Even though his headdress was not covering his head, his head was obscured by the thick hood attached to his robe and there was a white piece of cloth covering the lower half of his face. So even though Kiba could now see both his eyes, how the man's face truly looked was still a mystery.

He couldn't stop himself from wincing at the sight of a scarified gash that ran down from below the left side of his jaw, diagonally down until it disappeared to his right hip.

Baki's eyes narrowed, then he sighed and closed them.

"You don't have enough money to pay the three dollars to enter?" the man's eyes remained closed, and even though Kiba couldn't see much of his face, he could tell that he was bothered by this. "That defeats the whole purpose of this museum."

"But you can't lower the price, so I understand completely!" Kiba immediately defended Baki to himself, "I mean, you're already struggling money wise with just keeping all of the collections safe! And, really, three dollars is too little! It's just like you said in the press conference held where you had to defend keeping this museum open- you're struggling to offer an education that'll help combat the ignorance of our world."

Baki didn't say anything and instead raised one hand to grab onto his chin, still keeping his eyes closed as he thought.

Kiba, never having managed to conquer this particular problem since his youth, couldn't find a way to stop himself from talking and saying too much.

"Besides, you're planning that other expedition to Japan for a few months. And even though it's more of a personal project- what with you wanting to track down the possible land that belonged to the old Hoshizora clan because you want to find out your roots and whatnot..." Kiba's words slowly died down; suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious.

Baki's eyes were wide now, staring at him with nothing short of surprise.

They remained in silence for a few seconds, then Baki hummed.

"I am going to be completely honest with you," the man's face mask seemed to shift just slightly, as if Baki frowned. Then he crossed his arms over his chest (wow, now _that_ was muscle; the way those pecs moved was _breathtaking_). "You are bordering on the creepy with everything you know about me."

Kiba smiled awkwardly, beginning to scratch at the back of his head.

"Uh... sorry... I'm a fan."

He _wasn't_. But he couldn't let Baki know that he knew so much about him because he had planned on _robbing_ him. Kiba highly doubted that such a thing would go over well.

Baki looked him over for a moment, then shrugged softly. The scar that ran over his stomach raised just minutely- and Kiba felt a nagging at the back of his head, begging him to run his fingers over the raised flesh. "At least you're not here to steal anything of mine. Now _that_ would be incredibly- is that a crowbar poking out of your backpack?"

Kiba cursed. And he quickly thought of a plausible explanation.

He went with the first thing that came to his mind.

"Okay, _please_ don't get this wrong- I'm not here to steal anything! _But_," he chuckled nervously, taking one step back as Baki's eyes narrowed in distrust. "I packed it just in case I would have to pry a door open or something." then he motioned towards the exhibition room he had been in, finishing lamely with, "I really wanted to see those war fans."

Baki's eyes continued narrowed for one final second... then he sighed and raised his left hand to scrub at his eyes. When he spoke up next, he sounded incredibly tired. "Well, you're not the worst looking intruder."

Kiba's face reddened. Baki suddenly froze, apparently noticing exactly what it was that he had said.

Kiba blinked. And then he coughed into his hand, glancing down at the floor between them.

Baki was walking around barefoot- did that mean that he didn't like wearing shoes? Kiba hated shoes too!

Was... was he getting excited over having something in common with the archaeologist?

Oh no! Did he _like_ Baki?

"Uh..." he cleared his throat, coughed one final time, and mumbled out, "thank you. You're pretty hot too."

Boy, was he _lame_.

Baki coughed himself, then asked, "Would... hmm... Would you like to come into the kitchen?" when Kiba glanced up, it was to find the archaeologist pointing in the direction of the stairs that led to the second floor of the museum- where Baki lived and worked in. "If you'd like, we could discuss those fans."

Kiba blinked.

Then his face became a traffic light.

Baki was asking him to stay for a while longer.

Did he dare try and see if he could make a romantic relationship with a man he had just tried stealing from?

With a soft grunt, Kiba scratched at his upper arm and nodded.

"That'd be great."

Baki nodded and the mask he wore seemed to crinkle at the spots where the corner of Baki's lips must have been- it seemed as if he was smiling.

"Alright." Baki nodded stiffly, then stepped to the side and motioned for Kiba to begin walking. "Uh, please... I'm sorry, I'm not accustomed to... well..."

"Don't worry, me either." Kiba offered quickly, "It's not every day I break into a museum exhibit to see some of the most valuable archaeological pieces of my generation and get asked out by the hottest archaeologist I've ever seen."

After he had spoken, Kiba wanted to be swallowed up by the ground.

_What was wrong with him?!_

"You think I'm hot?" Baki squeaked, then shook his head with a gruff clearing of his throat. "You're attractive too."

Kiba closed his eyes and hid his face with his hands. "Neither of us is good at this, are we?"

"No, I don't think so."

Kiba smiled at the honesty... and decided to just go along with this incredibly awkward yet somehow tender moment.

Baki didn't need to know the true reason he had come here. Even though he wouldn't be getting to steal those war fans, Kiba didn't think that this night was a complete failure. Maybe he wouldn't leave completely empty-handed if he played his cards right.

~..~..~

If you've got a Baki-pairing or Baki-centric chapter you'd like to see, please review or PM me. This story will all just be about Baki getting the love he deserves!


	2. AnkoxBaki No SunaSound Invasion AU

_Chapter Title:__ Please_

Summary: Baki _needed_ someone to give him a direction. Everything he knew; everything that had made him feel safe... _gone_. He had so many responsibilities to take care of... _the children_... He... he couldn't think of them now... Right now, all he needed was someone to tell him what to do. He was a soldier. He followed the directions he was given. He couldn't think for himself. Not now.

_Warnings:_ Angst and mentioned character death. No humor to be found in this chapter; sorry.

_Pairing:_ Anko/Baki

Enjoy!~

..~..~..

Was there even a reason to continue?

_"Your Kazekage is dead. A squadron of our shinobi came across the caravan he was traveling in. The autopsy confirmed traces of the gold dust only he was capable of utilizing. I am sorry."_

He was within one of Konoha's sterile and bland interrogation rooms. The burly yet gentle head of the Torture and Interrogation Division had been the one to break the horrible news to him. He had left, though, a few minutes ago... in search of the confession forms, Baki supposed. But he hadn't been left alone.

_Unnecessary_, he thought. He may be distraught and near panic, but he would never do anything to hurt himself... that would, in turn, jeopardize his team.

Kankuro, Temari, and Gaara... how was he supposed to tell them any of this? How was he supposed to explain to them that their father was gone? How was he supposed to let them know that the person they had been their father for the past month; cold and cruel; had only been masquerading as him? How... how was he supposed to explain to them that they had almost gone to war with an enemy that outclassed them because they had been _foolish_?

"Yo, everything alright over there?"

Anko Mitarashi. An old student of the very man that had sentenced his Kazekage to death.

If Baki had been a weaker man, he would have hated her. But he wasn't. He was also perceptive. He had seen the way her eyes had narrowed whenever her old teacher had been mentioned. He had seen the softness that had overtaken her sharp edges when he had been informed just how badly he had been tricked by Orochimaru. She hated Orochimaru, too. And she sympathized with Baki.

Once again, if he had been a weaker man, he would have mistaken such sympathy for pity. But, once more, he was perceptive. He knew better.

Or maybe he just wanted to believe that there was good in the world.

"I do not think anything _could_ be alright."

Tears began to sting at the lids of his eyes, but Baki chose to ignore that bothersome sensation, rather than acknowledge it.

"Hey, it's alright. You'll get through this. You're a strong ninja, right?" she offered a gentle smile, as if trying to remind him of something she believed to be true, while he knew to be a lie. "You'll get through this!"

Baki couldn't stop himself from closing his eyes and hanging his head.

The whisper that received life from his lips was broken and undignified. It was the truest reflection of how he felt.

"I'm not just a ninja... I'm a soldier."

The woman's eyes narrowed. There was worry, so clear within those brown orbs that Baki's heart ached. This woman wore her emotions on her sleeve. She was _nothing_ like the kunoichi from Suna.

"What do you want me to do, Baki?" she whispered, moving around the table that had previously formed a chasm between them. Now that she was beside him; now that he could feel the warmth of her body, even as she stayed a few centimeters away from him... he didn't feel so despairingly bereft anymore. "What can I do to help you feel better?"

Baki's mouth opened.

No words came out.

Was he truly weak enough to confess to such weakness?

On another day, he would have never allowed any of these thoughts to even _bother_ him. But today, he believed his mental state was vulnerable enough to excuse such a lapse in judgement.

"Tell me what to do."

Her eyes narrowed. Her face hardened. The true weight of what Baki had just said crashed over them both.

Baki closed his eyes and clasped his hands together. The nails of his thumb dug harshly into his skin, threatening to break. But the man could barely feel such meaningless pain.

What was this small amount of _nothing_ when compared to the hole losing his _brother_ had caused?

Losing Karura had been one thing. He had, in his own, quiet away, seen it coming from far away. She had been a mere shadow of herself when pregnant with Gaara. Unfortunate and heartbreaking as it had been, that death had been easy to see coming.

First, his teacher had become a missing nin. Then he had lost one of his old genin-squad's members. And now... now he had lost the final teammate he still had left.

All his life, Baki had followed after Rasa and Karura. He had never been the leader many thought he was. He had only ever seemed like a capable leader because he had _learned_ from those two.

But now... now, not even Rasa was around to tell him what to do.

There was no structure to his life anymore. There was no Kazekage to tell him precisely what goals he wished to see his children reach. There was no brother to remind him that he needed to rest and relax sometimes. There was _no one to tell him what to do._

_He needed someone to tell him what to do._

"_Please_. Tell me what to do."

Was that a tear that fell down his left cheek?

He didn't know. Baki wasn't allowed to swipe at it. Instead, Anko was the one to get rid of it. And then, with two _strong_ hands framing his face, he was forced to look deep into Anko's hardened eyes.

"Alright, soldier." her frown was stern, but her eyes were worried.

It was at this moment that Baki noticed that Anko Mitarashi was the most breath taking kunoichi he had ever met in his life. She didn't know him. She didn't have to even _care_ about him. But her she was, indulging him in his absolutely selfish and _pitiful_ request. She hadn't even questioned him. She hadn't asked for an explanation for his petition. She had just... _decided to help._

"First order, dry those eyes. You're a jounin of Sunagakure- you're better than that."

Baki's weathered body slowly began to feel warm again. Bit by bit, he felt his strength return to him. When Anko smirked viciously, he couldn't stop himself from squaring his shoulders and sitting at attention.

"Good boy." she nodded, closing her eyes. "Second order of business, finish telling me everything you know about Kabuto, Orochimaru, and that invasion they're planning." after saying this, Anko pulled his face close to her own; his breath caught in his throat over how absolutely perfect this warrior was. "After we've kicked that snake's ass, we'll go celebrate with drinks and I'll meet your kids."

Baki blinked.

He wanted her to kiss him.

That was a stupid idea, he knew... but he had never met anyone that could take control of a situation with such little effort.

She was beautiful.

"Have I been understood, soldier?"

Baki nodded, "Yes ma'am."

Anko's smirk became predatory.

"I _like_ you."

Baki liked her too.

~..~..~

If you've got a Baki-pairing or Baki-centric chapter you'd like to see, please review or PM me.


	3. BakixIbiki Matchmaking Sand Siblings

_Chapter Title: __The Sand Siblings' Matchmaking Agency_

Summary: Their teacher wasn't the most emotionally open person they knew. But they knew that he was a great man- beneath the gruff exterior and constant grumbles of discontent. And they knew that he deserved someone that loved him as much as he loved them. Baki deserved someone to love him (Besides, if they managed to set him up with someone from Konoha, then they would have a great excuse to visit Konoha- and maybe get to see the very people that had captured their attention over there).

_Warnings:_ Mentioned character death for a bit. But this will be rather silly and fluffy. There are bits of angst, though. Also, there is world-breaking. I've got this headcanon that Baki, Rasa, and Karura were a genin team, all under Sasori. And that's the idea I went with for this story.

_Pairing:_ Baki/Ibiki

_Side pairings:_ Temari/Shikamaru, Gaara/Naruto, Kankuro/Hinata.

A very big thank you to Lisa, a commenter over on Archive of our Own, who gave me the idea for this one-shot

Please, do enjoy!~

..~..~..

"I think that the first thing we need to do is figure out a reason for Baki to _want_ to visit Konohagakure."

Kankuro agreed with his sister, all the while Gaara looked at them both with nothing short of curiosity. There was a bit of fascination mixed with confusion within his green eyes. But the most prevalent emotion was curiosity.

Quite frankly, it was unnerving to see Gaara as anything other than a bloodthirsty monster that didn't kill them only to not have to deal with the scolding Baki-sensei would give him. But it was kind of nice to have a little brother, even after years of fearing him.

"But what would that be?" he asked Temari, crossing his arms over his chest while he brought his legs towards him, then crossed them beneath himself.

Currently, they were hiding inside of Baki's room within his home. The man was out, finishing up the paperwork to legally adopt them, even after a thousand complaints and interruptions from Suna's Council of Elders. It hadn't been an easy process, but they were nearing the moment when they were legally considered as Baki's children- not just the Kazekage's.

Their father was dead. Apparently, he had been dead for a while. And Kankuro had not yet properly processed all that. Just like he hadn't properly processed the fact that they had almost started a full on war because they hadn't been able to distinguish between their actual Kazekage and a snake-bastard wearing his skin.

Eh... He'd deal with all that _eventually_. Right now, though, they needed to focus on a man that could have abandoned them a dozen times before, but had never even thought about leaving them behind.

Kankuro chanced a glance at Temari- she was frowning in deep thought. Then he turned to look at Gaara- only to find the red head glaring down at the rug beneath the three of them.

They had never gotten the chance to plot mischief when they had been children. And now that they were doing it... Kankuro kind of despised the fact that it had taken so long to be able to get on the same page as his siblings so they could work _together_.

"Baki's never had a girlfriend, has he?" Temari clicked her tongue.

Gaara frowned deeply, "I thought he was gay?"

Kankuro blinked. And when he turned to look at his sister, her facial expression of pure shock let him know that she hadn't thought of that possibility either.

"What makes you say that, Gaara?"

The red head shrugged, "He's sometimes smelled of other men. But never of women."

This was something that they had only just found out about their little brother. Because of the chakra monster within him, his senses had been heightened considerably. And his sense of smell was pretty attuned. So he could smell the perfume of people. And on people he knew, he was aware of what smells were normal and which were not.

Kankuro couldn't help the sly smile that came onto his lips as the full meaning of what Gaara had just said washed over him. "Who would have thought the guy had it in him?"

Temari shuddered, "Let's _not_ debate our teachers possible conquests, please, Kankuro."

"Conquests? You just need to hug someone to acquire some of their-"

Kankuro patted his younger brother on the head, "Don't worry your psychopathic little head over what the smells mean, lil' bro. Let's just worry over finding out if Baki truly is gay or not. Afterwards, we can think of the next phase of our plan."

Gaara frowned, but soon sighed and nodded.

Bless the kid's heart- he was so innocent and socially stunted he had no idea what sex was.

Kankuro knew that he could take advantage of this fact in the future to get a kick out of his little brother's innocence. But for now, they had a job they needed to do.

"Let's turn Baki's room upside down!"

The slamming of Baki's door alerted them to the man's sudden arrival. And when they turned to look in the direction of the sound, it was to find that man glaring down at them with an unamused frown weighing heavily at his lips.

"You will do no such thing, Kankuro." the man growled, only for his eyes to narrow. "What are you all doing in here? You all have your own rooms."

Yup. Baki-sensei had been so kind that he had completely converted three of his home's rooms into bedrooms for each of them. He had lost an office, a library, and a weight room. And he had acquired the 24/7 care of three rambunctious genin.

The guy had a heart of gold underneath that tough exterior.

Temari took control of the situation by jumping up and chuckling, shaking her head. "Kankuro's an idiot, ignore him." she then walked over to him, grabbing the papers within his left hand. "We were waiting for you. We want food."

"Kankuro's a good cook."

"But you're a _better_ cook." the puppeteer smirked, curiosity making him wonder what the papers Temari was looking over held. "So get to cooking, Baki-pops."

"I am _not_ your father." Baki stated flatly, voice just about cold. But Kankuro could tell there was the palest hue of pink appearing on his only visible cheek.

There was a lot of weight to what Baki had just said. Just like there was a lot of weight to Kankuro calling him Baki-pops. But they were emotionally stunted ninja from _Sunagakure_. They _didn't_ do the whole emotions thing. They just buried all those important feelings down deep in the hopes that their vulnerabilities were never discussed in the open, even though they were very well known by everyone around them.

Temari cleared her throat, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. She handed the papers back to Baki with a nod, "Everything's in order. Now could you _please_ make some of that delicious chili with the freeze-dried tofu? We want some of that."

Baki frowned down at her, "Temari, I'm not-"

"Please?" Gaara called out, immediately causing the protests in Baki's mouth to die.

Kankuro internally chuckled at how easily the guy gave up the fight when faced against all three of them working together. But he kept his face devoid of such humor because he knew that Baki would force some ungodly punishment on him if he dared to openly mock him.

"Fine. But tomorrow you'll get chores assigned. You're not living in the Kazekage's mansion anymore and I'm not going to be picking up after you three."

Baki was such a mother-hen. He'd pick up any slack they left. He'd grumble about it, but he'd do it.

Once the door had closed behind their teacher, Temari turned to both him and Gaara with an insane glint to her eyes. "We've got an hour. Leave no crook unsearched."

* * *

"Wow. Maybe Baki was gay for our father?"

"Ew, no, don't say that." Temari huffed as she looked over his shoulder. The picture in his hand was cute, with both of their parents sandwiching a petulant Baki in a clearly unwanted (but totally wanted) hug. They were all incredibly young- maybe they were even genin-aged in this picture. "Baki deserves so much better than someone like dad."

Gaara growled from somewhere behind both of them, but neither of them paid him any attention. They knew that _his_ relationship with their father was a thousand times more complicated than their own.

There was a picture behind this one. This time it had a young Baki- wow, he'd been wearing the same style of turban for _years now_\- frowning in front of another heavily frowning man. This guy had red hair and dull eyes. There was a shattered puppet on the ground and it seemed that it had been sliced through with wind jutsu.

Kankuro turned this picture around and read the writing on it. "Huh... You guys ever heard of Sasori?"

"Nope."

"I think Uncle Yashamaru mentioned him once."

Kankuro nodded at his siblings' answers, then offered, "That was his sensei. Maybe he'll be able to tell us something if we can track him down."

* * *

When they visited Konoha, all three of them were offered the great chance of meeting with their love interests by their teacher. This had been a great thing for all of them _and_ for their plans to give Baki-sensei a happy ending. It had been a bad thing, though, because it was through this meeting that the three of them had been able to truly polish their plans.

"I've never heard of a Sasori before." Shikamaru sighed, shaking his head as he returned the picture to her. "But I'm sure that my father should know something about him. Baki's around my dad's age, after all. And important ninja were known by all genin back in the war days to stay clear of them."

Kankuro had been busy painting Hinata's face with purple face-paint when Shikamaru had told her this. But that hadn't stopped him from butting into her time with him.

"How do you know he was important, Pineapple Head?"

Hinata giggled softly and Temari sneered at her brother.

If he continued insulting Shikamaru, _blood would be shed_.

"This guy trained an heiress," _our_ _mother_, Temari noted, "The Kazekage's heir," _good old dad_, "and your current teacher. I don't know what's important about Baki-sensei, but there must have been big plans for him given the team he was given." Shikamaru breathed in, yawned heavily, and Temari wanted to smack him on the head for not hurrying up and finishing his statement. "With that information, you can easily extrapolate the theory that Sasori must have been incredibly skilled. Not just anyone trains three important genin."

"Huh..." Kankuro grunted, "That actually makes sense."

"Of course it does." Temari growled at him, then decided that Kankuro wasn't worth her time and turned to Shikamaru. "We want to set our teacher up with someone from Konoha."

Shikamaru's eyes went from being lazily half-lidded to completely wide in surprise. "What? Why?"

"You want the good Samaritan answer or the honest one?"

"Both."

Temari sighed, "Baki-sensei deserves someone in his life. Someone _good_. He's a great guy himself; great teacher; good human being." and then she smiled mischievously, "Honest answer is that if he's got a booty-call here, he's more likely to let us come over much more often."

Shikamaru's cheeks reddened and Temari smiled broadly.

Then Hinata piped up, "W-what do you need us t-to do?"

Bless her soul, Hinata was much too kind to ever like someone as stupid as her brother. But she was clearly not the best judge of character. First she had liked Naruto. And now that Naruto was making googly-eyes at a very oblivious Gaara, her attention had been turned onto Kankuro.

"Find us someone gay that Baki'd like." Kankuro shrugged, as if what he had just said was actually _helpful_.

Temari resisted the urge to tell him he was a simple idiot.

"Hmm... This'll take some thinking." Shikamaru confessed, "But... I'll see what I can do. Will you help too, Hinata?"

"Mm-hmm." Hinata now walked over to them, followed by Kankuro. And while the designs on her face were both delicate and beautiful, the blonde would never admit out loud that her over-confident brother had actual talent.

"You Konoha jerks aren't half-bad." Kankuro smirked at Hinata; Hinata blushed and turned away.

Temari rolled her eyes and shook her head. Some girls were so _simple_.

Then she looked over at Shikamaru... only to have _him_ close his eyes and glance away.

Temari took back what she had said about Hinata. Some _people_ were so _simple._

* * *

One month later, the three of them knew who Akasuna no Sasori was. Even though they highly doubted it would be a good idea to track the guy down. They had found out he was a traitor to Sunagakure that had not been spotted in the past ten years. And the only reason they knew this was because Gaara had managed to get a hold of Baki's bingo book while he had been teaching Temari another wind style jutsu, all the while scolding Kankuro over spending too much time decorating his puppets, rather than tuning them up.

They had asked about Sasori around the Village before they had managed to get the bingo book. But every time they had mentioned the guy's name, the shinobi and kunoichi they had asked would always tell them to stop asking questions they didn't even understand. After they had learned about Sasori's current employment as a traitor to their village, they could understand why the shinobi had been so adamant about not telling them anything.

Well... even though _that_ had been a dead end for their plans of finding someone for their teacher, the Konoha Crushes came through and breathed back a new life into their plans.

_ "We've come up with a list of possible shinobi for Baki-sensei. _

_First of all, we know that you want a male shinobi because you think your teacher's gay. So that gets rid of all kunoichi. Afterwards, we know that you want someone with strong ties to Konoha so that you will have to visit Konohagakure- rather than Baki's partner visiting you in Suna. So that means that we need to look at shinobi with important posts in Konoha that don't leave them much travel room. And finally, we looked at shinobi that are known for having no relationships or rumored to be gay. Admittedly, this was the hardest part and we had to rely on a lot of hearsay. So the men on this list may be gay... or they may be too emotionally destroyed to form proper human relations."_

The pages that were behind the letter all held the pictures of the few men Shikamaru, Hinata, and Naruto had managed to find that had fit their parameters. But before they looked at the possible men, a small piece of handwriting at the very bottom of the letter caught her eye.

_"P.S. we didn't even consider civilian options because we all agree- even if your teacher can deal with their weirdness, you certainly would drive a civilian away within a day."_

Below that, in sloppy handwriting, Naruto had written, _"Love you Gaara, but you're scary."_

"I'm not that scary."

Temari actually laughed.

Her little brother was adorable. But he was _downright_ _terrifying_.

* * *

Shikamaru was trying to hide from them. Naruto was laughing so loudly that even Gaara had to admit he was sounding somewhat annoying. And Hinata was giggling softly.

"What's wrong with the proctor?"

Naruto burst out into another round of laughter- Gaara felt the tips of his ears redden at the reaction. He didn't know _why_ he was suddenly consumed with embarrassment. But he _was_. And he didn't like it.

"I knew it was a mistake to put him in the list." The Nara lamented, immediately throwing Temari into a fit of rage.

"What do you mean a mistake? Are you questioning our judgements? Listen up, Nara, out of all the guys you put in the list, this is the only that seems good enough for our teacher!"

"G-good enough?" Hinata's giggling stopped, "W-what do you mean?"

Kankuro dealt with that particular answer.

"Don't get us wrong, all the other guys on the list seem like they know what they're doing or whatever." his brother was not particularly eloquent. But his bluntness certainly managed to make his message clear. "But you gotta see, in a romantic interest, you've gotta share certain things. Baki-sensei has no family left. Morino's got no family. Baki's got to take care of three amazing genin- Morino's got that madhouse known as T and I."

Now Temari calmed down, expression turning somber as she closed her eyes. "Besides... we've got a theory that half our teacher's face is covered because he was left horribly scarred by torture."

Gaara frowned, once more growing angered at the very thought of _anyone_ hurting Baki-sensei.

It wasn't until Naruto pried his right hand's fingers from each other that Gaara noticed he had balled them up into a harsh fist. And when he looked over to the blonde, it was to find him without a trace of humor left in his face.

Naruto didn't say anything. He just held his hand within his own.

For some reason, Gaara didn't feel that Naruto had needed to say anything.

Kankuro breathed out heavily, "So, yeah... Even though that it would have been pretty cool for your father to be with Baki, Hinata, I don't think he'd be the right fit for our teacher. He's clearly got some issues to get through that might be like Baki's..." Hinata nodded, not seeming the least bit insulted over having her father looked over for Baki's prospective new boyfriend. "But we just think that Morino might be the best fit."

Gaara nodded, cleared his throat, and finished the thought with, "And we know that he's gay."

That was the only reason he had agreed with Morino. He was the only openly gay man in the list of prospects.

Naruto's thumb began to run over the knuckle of his thumb and Gaara looked at him with wide eyes. Naruto merely smiled back at him, "I love how simple you are."

Gaara blinked.

Then he smiled back.

"I love you too."

Naruto laughed and Gaara rejoiced in the sound. He was so happy to hear the sound, actually, that he completely missed the shocked gasps from both of his siblings.

* * *

Today was the day.

His palms were sweaty. Apparently, that only happened when he was very nervous. Apparently, he really liked Baki-sensei, because he was nervous about their plan working.

"And you're sure that Ibiki's none the wiser?" Temari whispered towards Shikamaru, who nodded stiffly.

"Yeah. Ino told him that she needed him to get here so that she could have him meet someone important."

"Are we sure it's a good idea to hope that Morino takes the bait and asks Baki out?" Kankuro questioned, "For all we know, he likes twinks and this'll be a huge waste of our time."

"What's a twink?" he and Hinata asked at the same time, earning an amused chuckle from his brother- who answered neither of them.

"We can't have them thinking that they're here to meet a secret admirer or anything." Naruto chimed in, "I think it's best that they meet each other and we let them go at their own pace. What'd be the point of setting them up if there's no natural chemistry between them?"

Gaara agreed with Naruto. Kankuro had told him that he only agreed with the idiot because he liked him. Gaara could not find a reason within him to tell Kankuro he was right. So he had just stayed quiet.

"Well, Baki's on his walk, reading that one book we know Morino likes. Hopefully, that'll be enough to spark an interest between them." Temari murmured.

"They're close!"

Upon hearing Hinata's warning, all six genin stilled within the giant bush they were hiding within. And then they just lay waiting, all of them hoping that their plans would work.

When Baki appeared, he was walking down the pond's path with his nose buried within his book. He was so enthralled by the book that he didn't notice an equally distracted Ibiki Morino- who, at the time, had been busy reading from some important looking folders. Because both men were rather tall, they had bumped into each other in a way that had managed to jostle the things they had been reading from. This had sent Baki's book hurtling to the ground, all the while Ibiki's papers scattered through the air.

Baki had quickly grabbed all the papers with a quick precision that allowed his students to see how truly fast the man was. He barely showed off his true power to them- as a teacher, he only wanted to teach, not show off. Ibiki had, in turn, lunged at the book, grabbing it before it managed to crash against the ground below.

"I apologize- I was incredibly distracted." Baki offered all of the papers he had saved from meeting the pond's water, keeping a sternness to his gaze that Gaara found amusing.

Their teacher barely smiled. He was so serious... his siblings were right, he needed someone to distract him.

"No, _I'm_ sorry." Ibiki, on the other hand, _did_ smile. It was a small turn to the corner of his lips, but there was a clear lightness to his appearance that contrasted against Baki's own heavy attitude.

As the interrogator offered the book, the title caught his attention. And his eyes widened.

"Howa are you enjoying this?"

Baki blinked, "You've heard of this?"

"Heard?" now the interrogator was _smirking_. And he heard Temari whisper out a cheer. "I've read the series completely."

Baki's eyes widened, clearly taken aback. "You have? But... The final book hasn't even been published."

"I have my ways." Ibiki turned the book in his hands, pointing at a spot Gaara couldn't see on the cover. "Years ago, I was part of a protective detail that helped the author reach the Kirigakure for her daughter's birthday."

For the first time in their lives, the Sand Siblings were treated to the sight of Baki vulnerably surprised. Normally, he schooled his features completely and barely allowed his emotions to be seen. But right now, his surprise wasn't even the slightest bit muffled.

"_Her_?" he gasped, then closed his eyes and nodded to himself. "I had my suspicions- the female characters are so much better written than one would expect from a man that was raised in Sunagakure. But... Hmm... I feel tricked but not at the same time."

Ibiki let out a barked laugh, shaking his head. "Then you know exactly how I felt when I met her." Slowly, his laughter died down, but he was left smiling at Baki. Baki, in turn, was looking back at him with an uncharacteristic curving to the right corner of his lips. "Would you like to discuss the book over some tea?"

"That..." Baki frowned for a moment, "I need to get back to my ki- my _team_."

Ibiki's smile dampened, then he nodded, "Right, the Kazekage's children."

"No, Baki you idiot, go with the hunky interrogator." Temari whispered viciously, all the while Kankuro began to breathe heavily in that way that let Gaara know he was becoming frustrated. "Think about yourself for once!"

"We're here for diplomatic talks." Baki explained, "And while I trust my team, there's only so much time I should leave them alone before I run the risk of Gaara and Kankuro teaming up against Temari and tying her up."

His siblings began to scoff at the absurdity of that... and Gaara felt that he needed to bring them back down to reality. "That happened last time he left us alone for more than an hour."

"Shaddup, raccoon eyes!"

"Yeah, you're the youngest. Respect your elders."

Naruto patted his head in sympathy.

Ibiki's eyes were soft and incredibly easy to read- at least, to Gaara they were.

"I understand. Kids are a handful."

"You have kids?" Baki... somehow sounded disappointed?

"No." Ibiki chuckled, and Gaara _swore_ he saw Baki perk up at that. "No partner, either. My job hasn't really given me much chance to find anyone to start a family with." the interrogator shrugged, "I have helped out some of my colleagues with their own children. And they are..."

After a moment in which Ibiki didn't finish his statement, Baki chuckled. And he nodded. And Gaara was confused. "They are, aren't they?"

Baki was smiling. _Baki was smiling_.

"You know... I can trust them for another hour, I'm sure."

It took all of their ninja training to not shout out in pure glee when Baki agreed to go with Ibiki. But when both men were finally gone, the three genin that had been hiding within the bush jumped out and began to celebrate a job well done.

So busy they were celebrating that they never even stood a chance against their kidnapper.

* * *

"You have to calm down!"

"These are _my kids_!" Baki growled, glaring deep into the interrogator's dark eyes. "I'm not going to let _anyone_ hurt them!"

"What good are you to them if you're _dead_?" Ibiki stated in a calm deadpan, "If you continue running after them without checking for traps, then you'll be of no use to them."

Ibiki... Baki wanted to punch him in the face right now.

If it hadn't been because he had allowed himself to be talked into going off with him, the kids would not have been left alone! And if they had not been left alone, then Sasori would never had kidnapped them!

But... Ibiki was right.

He needed to calm down.

Baki breathed in deeply, trying to center himself. He closed his eyes... and all he could see was the remains of the Kazekage he had disappointed.

Quickly, he opened his eyes and frowned at Ibiki. "Those kids are _all_ I have left. I'm not going to let-"

"_We're_ not going to let anything happen to them." Ibiki interrupted, brandishing the note that had been left on Baki's pillow, waiting for him to return to his temporary living quarters within Konoha. "Sasori wants you to find him. Even though he set traps up, those are probably just to slow down the shinobi that don't know him. If he didn't want you to get to him, he never would have left you this."

_"Rasa's children are with me, Specter of the Sand. Come find me in the only place in Konoha I ever liked."_

There had been no signature. But there had only been one person to call him by such a name. His old teacher had always had a propensity towards the dramatic... unnecessarily flashy nicknames were just part of his repertoire.

"Baki, we _will_ find him. Just clear your mind. You know your teacher better than I ever will. I need you to lead the way and help me avoid the traps."

The only place within Konoha his teacher had ever liked had been the Forest of Death. And now that Baki was trying to hunt him down, his love for poisonous traps was incredibly clear _and annoying_.

If not for Ibiki watching his back, he would have been impaled by a poisoned senbon a few steps back.

His eyes narrowed... Ibiki stared back at him with nothing short of determination.

So he nodded and forced himself to _think_.

Admittedly, having a second pair of eyes was nice when it came to maneuvering all of Sasori's death traps.

* * *

When they finally reached his old teacher... Baki wanted to throttle _all_ of the kids.

"Ah, yes, he is emotionally repressed. I think he once had a boyfriend, but I didn't approve of him. So I had him demoted to a desk job and Baki soon left him because he wanted to make something of himself."

Gaara, Kankuro, Temari and all their Konoha born crushes were _seated in a semi-circle around Akasuna no Sasori_.

Baki glowered at the sight. Ibiki made a sound of confusion deep within his throat. And when Sasori noticed them, the man had the gall to_ nod_ at them.

"The children had been asking about me. I was thinking of killing them off- I cannot have too many people looking for me, you know," Sasori waved his hand dismissively, even as Kankuro began to laugh at his actions. "But then they told me that they only wanted to ask me about you. So I decided to let them live."

Baki sneered at the man, preparing himself to strike him down even at the cost of his life.

And then the last bit of what he had said struck him. He was thrown for a loop, admittedly. "Wait, why are you asking him about me?"

"No reason!" Temari's eyes closed as she smiled unconvincingly at him.

"Nope. No reason at all." Kankuro quickly shook his head.

Ibiki cleared his throat, "Specifically, why are you kids asking about his love life?"

"No reason!" Now Gaara joined his siblings in their denial... and Baki felt his cheeks begin to warm up.

"Why were you kids asking about my love life?"

Sasori sighed, shaking his head, "Because they want you to find someone to love, of course." then he looked over at Ibiki, standing tall and strong behind him, and rolled his eyes, "Still have a thing for the strong silent type, I see."

Baki choked on his own spit. Ibiki made a noise of pure confusion behind him. And then his old teacher stood up, "Well, I guess the Head of Torture and Interrogation will make a better lover than that boy I sentenced to desk duty all those years ago. Maybe you _have_ done right for yourself."

"Wait, you can't just-"

"Goodbye, Baki." Sasori walked away from the group without looking back. Although he did stop before his figure fizzled into the shadows of the forest, "Morino, break his heart and I won't give you the luxury of an easy death."

Baki was mortified.

"He's not my lover!"

"What? But he's perfect!"

The children distracted him. And when he finally managed to tear his sight away from them and look for Suna's greatest traitor... it was to find an empty forest surrounding them.

Baki sighed and glared down at his students.

The only reason he didn't scold them over having gotten kidnapped by Akasuna no Sasori and _scaring him out of his_ mind was that Ibiki cleared his throat.

"I know we just met today, Baki, but I'd like to get to know you."

"Say yes, pops! You need to get some!"

"Some what?" the Hyuga girl asked... and Baki absolutely refused to look back at his kids.

His face was much too red and he was much too embarrassed.

Ibiki chuckled and Baki closed his eyes, hiding his face in his hands.

"I never should have adopted them."

~..~..~

If you've got a Baki-pairing or Baki-centric chapter you'd like to see, please review or PM me.


	4. BakixKakashi

Chapter Title: _La Tortura_

Summary: Neither of them was good at communication. This proved to be their downfall. _Inspired by Shakira's 'La Tortura'._

Warnings: Themes of cheating and dishonesty.

Pairing: Baki/Kakashi

Please, enjoy!~

..~..~..

Baki stared down into his cup of steaming tea. "This isn't working out."

Kakashi's hands stopped in their descent into his shirt. They were cold against his skin. The Hatake was always incredibly cold. He had always said that one of the reasons he liked Baki was precisely because he was so warm; a human furnace, he'd once been told.

"What're you talking about, Baki?"

Kakashi's voice was neutral, trying to keep himself from showing any worry he may have been feeling. But Baki knew that he was worried- even though his voice was devoid of said emotion, his hands suddenly freezing were more than enough to let Baki know how he was truly feeling.

This was part of the problem. They weren't right for each other.

"We aren't working out, Kakashi." Baki sighed, allowing his eyes to close before he brought his cup of tea up to his lips. Softly, he blew on it, then murmured, "I think it's about time we accepted the fact that this relationship isn't getting any better." finally, he took a sip from his drink. This conversation was so painful that not even the calming taste did anything to soothe the pain in his heart.

Slowly, Kakashi's hands left his chest and retracted completely from his body. Baki didn't have to turn around to know that Kakashi had now turned away from him, as if burned by what he had just heard.

Baki was not the kind to allow his emotions to take over his logical decisions. But there were a few things that still bothered him enough to make him think twice over exactly how logical he wanted to be.

Quite frankly, if he were the kind to be dominated by his emotions, he would have attempted to severely injure Kakashi Hatake. But, no, he knew that such actions would lead him nowhere productive. And because of this, he was taking a more logical route- the route of facing Kakashi about how badly their relationship had devolved.

Seeing how he was still human, he couldn't bring himself to face the Hatake. It hurt too much to think of looking at him now... as he attempted to seem truly taken aback by what he was hearing from Baki now... even though he should have known this was a long time coming.

Beside himself, the Sungakure native bit the left side of his bottom lip with his upper canine. Grief's icy grip came over his heart, squeezing it tightly once again.

When he had first accepted Kakashi's invite for a date together, he had been warned by many Leaf shinobi to prepare his heart for an eventual heartbreak. This man had no sense of commitment, they had all told him. No matter how hard he tried to stay on the straight and narrow with him, the Hatake would eventually relapse to disloyal sexual practices. _It would only be a matter of time_, they had told him.

Baki didn't have any concrete evidence of such a relapse. All he had was the fact that his time with Kakashi was not spent _with_ Kakashi anymore. When they managed to finally make time for one another, his Hatake lover was a world's away. Instead of the romantic passion they had luxuriated in during the beginning of their relationship, they had slipped into a distance between one another that was only ever felt amidst people that were so close yet so far away.

"I... I don't understand. Baki, what are you talking about?"

To his credit, the Hatake sounded completely taken by surprise.

Baki sighed and opened his eyes once more. Then he set his cup down on the table before him and rolled his shoulders against the back of his chair- there was the slight crackling of joints limbering.

"I'm talking about the fact that I'm not enough for you anymore." his grip on the cup tightened upon saying this out loud. Even though he could acknowledge it and, in a way, _understand_ why Kakashi had gotten bored of him... it still hurt. "Neither of us is any good when it comes to expressing our emotions comfortably. But we need to be mature about this. And-"

"Baki, you're freaking me out! Why do you want to leave me?"

The Suna jounin pursed his lips upon hearing this. Kakashi sounded... _legitimately distressed_.

"I won't sugar coat anything, then." pushing his chair away from the table he sat before, Baki stood up. And he turned around, facing Kakashi with a stern frown. "There are rumors circulating that you are cheating on me."

Kakashi's hair was unbrushed and stuck out at random angles and, as was customary for whenever he rolled out of bed, he was not wearing a shirt. But he still had his mask firmly in place, although he had not yet covered up his left eye. Because of this, Baki could see that both of his eyes were clearly widened in both fear and absolute shock.

"Baki, I-"

With a silent raising of his hand, Baki was able to silence the Hatake once more. "Kakashi," he began, but the words died in his mouth and he was thrown into a loss for something to say.

What, _exactly_, was he supposed to have said? That he had been expecting to find out he was getting cheated on? That he had always known that something would happen that would drive the Hatake to betray him? That he had never expected them to get far?

No, he couldn't say any of that. Not because it would hurt to admit- but because it would have been a lie to say any of that. Because not _once_ had he thought such a thing. Even with all of the warnings people had told him, he had thought Kakashi's intentions were pure with him. And he had thought that he might have been the person to finally interest Kakashi enough to _not_ have him find entertainment anywhere else.

Admittedly, it stung to find out he had been wrong.

"I never did that." Kakashi took a step forward, voice pleading and desperate. "I would _never_ cheat on you."

Baki would have stepped back- if not for the fact that the table behind him was stopping him from moving away from the Hatake.

Hope swelled within his heart... but Baki forced himself to ignore such useless feelings. He wasn't here to listen to Kakashi's lies. He was here to end this doomed relationship before either of them wound up emotionally injured any further.

"Kakashi, please." he had to swallow past a lump in his throat and then, when the despair within Kakashi's eyes became too much to bare, he closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to stop himself from trying to hide within himself. "I don't need to hear you lie to me. I understand that I'm not the right man for you. It's okay. So, after we admit that this isn't going to work, we need to come to terms with the fact that it would be for the best to break up."

Kakashi was silent.

Baki had expected _something_.

When he opened his eyes, it was to find the other man with a hitai-ite within his left hand. Baki's eyes narrowed at the object, wondering just what in the world Kakashi was trying to pull. And then his eyes caught on the Village Symbol etched into the metal plate- it was _Suna's_.

"I'm not cheating on you and I swear on _my life _I never will." Kakashi growled from deep within his throat, voice having taken on an almost animalistic edge. "I've been distant because for the past three months, I have been negotiating my terms for leaving Konohagakure so I could finally be free to move to Suna and properly ask you to marry me."

The breath was knocked out of Baki's lungs. Beside himself, his eyes widened in absolute surprised.

Kakashi moved forward so he could offer the hitai-ite to Baki, even though the man remained motionless. "I'm not good at emotions. I'm horrible at relationships. And my Hatake traditions for marriage are so different from anything in Suna that I didn't want to scare you off. So I've been learning about how things are handled over there and I've been so worried that you'd reject me and my stupid friends kept telling me that I should instead try and convince you to move to Konoha because I shouldn't leave my home..." Kakashi breathed in, closing his eyes as he allowed his head to hang. "I'd _never_ cheat on you. I love you."

Baki blinked at the man. Then he blinked down at the plate of metal.

To some, this would mean little. To Baki, it meant the world. He'd never be able to leave his home- he couldn't. Not after everything Suna had given him. It was because of his intense loyalty for his Village that he had always worried about Kakashi and him having to break up. They were both intensely loyal to their villages, after all.

But... Here Kakashi was... offering to leave Konoha and move to Suna just so they could be together.

Tears welled up within his eyes.

"Those rumors-"

"Ibiki has been helping me work on my diplomatic skills. Anko tags along from time to time. And Genma knows the ins and outs of court-speak or whatever." Kakashi explained in a hurried breath, "They're all friends. They're nothing more."

That was... incredibly comforting.

Baki felt like an idiot.

"I've been a fool."

Kakashi surged forward and crushed him within a breath-taking hug. Baki hugged him back and thread his fingers within the shorter man's disheveled hair.

They remained wrapped up within their hug for a couple of seconds before Baki pressed a long kiss into Kakashi's forehead. "It'd be an honor to marry you. On the sole condition we try and keep a better type of communication between each other. We're much too quiet for our own good."

"Agreed." Kakashi answered immediately. "Let's add the condition to visit Konoha every few months or so. My pack likes the desert, but it can get pretty hot over there."

Baki smiled, rejoicing in the feeling of Kakashi's body pressed against his own. "Agreed."

~..~..~

If you've got a Baki-pairing or Baki-centric chapter you'd like to see, please review or PM me.


	5. BakixKurenai Modern AU

Chapter Title: _You are my Sunshine_

Summary: Coffee was the fuel for the odd, miraculously functioning, family.

Modern, mixed family, AU!

Pairing: Baki/Kurenai

Please, enjoy!~

..~..~..

"Hey, dad, where's the coffee?"

Baki frowned upon hearing Kankuro refer to him with such a title. But Temari soon sprinted into the kitchen in a flurry of chaos, hurriedly yelling about how she needed the coffee before Kankuro because she needed to study for her finals and where the hell was the coffee you little shit?!

Closing his eyes, the dark skinned man sipped at the mug of coffee he had wisely prepared _before_ Kiba woken up to steal it all. The Inuzuka didn't _live_ with them, but he may as well have from the way he was _always_ within their home. Every morning, he awoke in his house a block down to creep his way here, take Baki's good coffee, and slink over to the guest room to decide on what to wear.

"Gaara must have taken it all!"

"Gaara hasn't woken up yet, Kankuro."

Kurenai, the only source of calm within the chaos that was his home, glided into the kitchen with a soft smile on her face. Mirai was toddling behind her... chewing on a chocolate chip cookie... and Baki frowned at his wife.

"She hasn't eaten a proper breakfast." he deadpanned. With a broad smile, the woman shrugged, "She'll have a perfectly healthy breakfast, promise. But she wanted the cookie and asked politely."

"Mom! Quick, I need you to make some coffee! I've only got five days left to study for my finals and chemistry's kicking my ass!" Temari jumped before the dark haired woman, grabbing her by the shoulders with a crazed glint within her blue eyes. "I still don't understand why I need to take a stupid humanities' class."

Mirai made her way towards Baki and looked up at him with pleading, wide eyes. He looked back down at her, waiting for her to say something. She didn't and instead continued to munch on her cookie. With a sigh, the man gave himself up to his own weakness for his adopted daughter and grabbed her before placing her on his lap. She giggled before planting a quick kiss onto his cheek.

Admittedly, he was not able to stop himself from smiling at the six year old.

"Temari, please calm down. You have five days to study and you have some of the highest marks in your course." Kurenai stated as she walked towards the coffee maker.

Temari growled dramatically, "But I'm second to that stupid jerk!"

Mirai quietly finished eating her cookie. Baki finished drinking his coffee at around the same time. And at that moment Hinata and Shino walked in through his home's front door, announcing their arrival by the heavenly scent of Hinata's breakfast scones.

Mirai perked up and began to bounce up and down in excitement at the delicious pastry Kurenai's old student brought. And Baki frowned down at her once more. He seriously wanted to tell her that buttery treats were not appropriate breakfast for a growing child. But he also really loved seeing her so delighted over receiving her favorite treats.

"Good morning." Hinata announced once she was at the doorway to the kitchen.

"Did you bring coffee?" Kankuro ran at the young woman with the frenzy of a coffee addict that was sorely missing his fix. And she only squeaked before shaking her head quickly.

"Kankuro, leave her alone. Kurenai's making a new batch."

"Dad, we should ban that stupid dog from invading our home. He keeps stealing all your coffee."

It was still so _jarring_ to hear the Sabaku children refer to him as their _father_. It was normal to hear them call Kurenai such a thing after they had essentially adopted her as their mother six years ago. But... well, he had adopted these three after their real parents had died during a senseless attack on his embassy's diplomatic caravan. Rasa and Karura had never been the most _warm_ parents, but they had still loved their children with their full hearts. In all honesty... he just didn't feel as if he deserved such a high honor in the kid's eyes.

"You will never get rid of me, Drama Queen!" Kiba announced as he sauntered into the kitchen- which was beginning to feel somewhat cramped right about now.

Hinata moved away from Kankuro as the young man turned his sights on Kiba. And then she sat herself on the other side of the island, placing her basket of scones in the middle of it. Shino quietly sat down beside her, sending Baki a nod of greeting before settling in and just watching the show.

Baki sighed, leaned over Mirai, and grabbed two scones. The girl cheered once more as he handed one of them to her. Then he began to eat his own scone.

Kurenai had finished brewing the new batch of coffee. Temari was trying to steal the whole pot, but the woman was doing a good job of guilt tripping her into not taking it away from her brother. Kankuro was snarling at Kiba to stop stealing their coffee unless he wanted Akamaru to disappear, only to be found in their college's newest theater play. And just as Kiba was about to snarl back an answering threat, Gaara appeared behind them both and walked through them both, effectively interrupting their argument.

This was a large kitchen. It was made for space and movement. But there was a limit even in a kitchen as large as this one. And, to Baki, two full grown adults, six college students, and one child was certainly pushing that limit.

As he frowned at the chaos before him, Baki's eyes connected with his wife's own. Her bright red irises sparkled with amusement. And the smile on her lips read of pure joy.

God, she was beautiful.

Admittedly... he wouldn't have it any other way.

~..~..~

So the schedule for the next few one-shots will be as so:

Baki/Iruka (Soulmate AU)

Baki/Orochimaru (dub-con Successful Konoha Crush AU)

If you have any ideas, please PM me or leave a review!


	6. BakixIruka Soulmate AU

Chapter Title: _You're too Serious and that's Incredibly Adorable_

Summary: Baki, Iruka had learned in the few hours they had known each other, took himself too seriously. And, quite frankly, it was absolutely endearing.

Soulmate AU!

Pairing: Baki/Iruka

Please, enjoy!~

..~..~..

Iruka had always been told he took himself too seriously. Some people didn't like that- they thought that a Chunin like himself hadn't gone through enough in his life to deserve such a serious demeanor. And others thought that he was just too young to look and act as mature as he did.

Honestly, all those people were kind of idiots and didn't really matter in his life. He wasn't a very serious person- but he was incredibly intelligent. Which is exactly why he knew that there were only specific moments he could afford to be his silly natural self. If he didn't act this serious, no one would ever take him seriously. And when one was a teacher to so many rascals, he couldn't truly afford to _not_ be taken seriously.

But he had a feeling that his recently-found soulmate's serious demeanor wasn't just an act. If anything, he seemed like he was all too serious and didn't know how to _not _be serious.

Like, right now. Iruka had invited him and his group of genin to come over to his apartment after having finished up with diplomatic talks with the Hokage so they could have some dinner. And Baki was being so serious that he was barking at them to be on their best behavior.

Fate was a funny thing. Baki had been in Konoha a handful of times before; just like he had gone to Suna a few times as well; yet they had not met until today. Their paths may have linked closely together before, but they had never interconnected until one of Iruka's old students almost started a fight with Baki's current students and Iruka had decided to step in and intervene.

He had known that Naruto and Kankuro's friendship was that odd, volatile, and kind of violent friendship that centered more around mutual insults than mutual respect. And, normally, Iruka would have allowed the two to go at each other and only stop them when they started throwing fists. _But_ he was sure that the Hokage wouldn't have appreciated those two fighting right before an important diplomatic meeting between the two Villages that would help begin to repair the fissure created by Suna's aid in the Hidden Sound's invasion. So he had said goodbye to Anko- who he had been having lunch with- and made his way to stop the two.

He had arrived just in time for Baki to appear with a harsh glare directed at the puppeteer. And they had shouted the same thing at the same time, coincidentally enough, "You're shinobi- act like it!"

Naruto and Kankuro had both stopped upon hearing the authoritarian voice utilized by their respective teacher. But Iruka had completely forgotten what it was he had been doing before hearing his soulmate's voice.

It was true what they had said- words couldn't explain the feeling of hearing your soulmate for the first time. But it was magical. And you just _knew_ who they were.

So, after a quick introduction, Iruka had invited them over. And now they were within his home and the genin were absolutely surprised by the impressive weapon collection he had mounted throughout the walls of the area. So they were running around like civilians within a candy shop. And Baki was taking himself too seriously.

"Stop running! You're behaving like children!"

He had to smile at this.

"They _are_ kids."

His soulmate's face turned to him suddenly- and he just stared. It was as if he had forgotten about Iruka being with him and him speaking had absolutely stunned him.

Slowly, a red tinge began to take over his only visible cheek.

"They're genin." he cleared his throat, then coughed into his hand as he turned to look away from him. "They need to behave like the mature ninja they're supposed to be."

It was at this very moment- when he was able to see the purely self-conscious man trying to simulate _not_ being self-conscious- that Iruka decided he took himself too seriously. And it was at this moment that he decided his soulmate was one of the most adorable people he had ever met- _if not the most adorable person he had ever met_\- and he needed to see how far he could tease him.

"Oh, come on," Iruka smiled devilishly as he moved to stand directly beside his soulmate, bumping him softly with his elbow. "I'm sure you've got your fair-share of immature genin stories yourself." then he moved back slightly so Baki could see him waggle his eyebrows suggestively, "Everyone's got an unfortunate tree-branch and wedgie combo story."

Baki's eyes widened... and his face became even redder.

Iruka's chest bloomed with warmth upon seeing such an honest and genuine reaction.

Baki took himself too seriously. And he loved every second of it.

"I've got an idea," he began, eyeing Kankuro's fascination with the spear from Kumo Anko had brought for him after she had lost a bet against him. "Why don't you let them pick a weapon each? They've got until their next visit here to become proficient and beat me with the weapon. If they lose, they've got to listen to you for a whole month. No talking back."

"What- they listen-" with a simple quirked eyebrow, Baki sighed in defeat. "Is it that obvious?"

"Hah! Beating some stupid chunin Academy teacher'll be easy with this!" Kankuro boasted as he pointed towards one of the most difficult to master weapons on his wall- a gauntlet that required the use of chakra to be able to wield it. "I like this one."

"Hmm, I guess a puppeteer might be able to use this- if they train enough."

Kankuro took on the challenge without a second thought. He didn't even ask how to use the gauntlet. Just cooed at how great it would look on his hand- and how great it would be to have a close-range option for when someone broke through his puppet's defense.

"Please refrain from insulting my soulmate, Kankuro."

Placing his hand on Baki's shoulder, Iruka got the man to look at him. And he smirked wickedly before raising himself by balancing on the tips of his toes so he could whisper into his soulmate's left ear, "Let him underestimate me. The bet's to help you, after all."

Once he had finished saying such a thing, he turned to the children, "Now, how about a meal before you make a final decision?"

He could tell that his soulmate was absolutely frozen by his deceptive nature. Iruka wasn't surprised. Most people took him as a one-note kind of person; which was precisely what Iruka wanted them to believe. It was easier to defeat people when they were absolutely sure that he was an incompetent chunin that had become a teacher because there had been no other option, rather than a true force on the battlefield that just loved kids enough to choose to teach, rather than be promoted.

"Baki-sensei can help you cook. He makes great meals." Temari offered as she stared longingly at the bladed fans near his kitchen.

"Oh? He can cook too?"

"Yup!"

When he turned to Baki, it was to find that the man had shaken off his surprise, only to have it replaced with a small bit of humbled denial, "They're exaggerating."

"We're not!" all three chorused, only for Gaara to pipe up, "He's got a bad habit of being too serious. Apparently, Suna thinks shinobi aren't supposed to great cooks."

"They're not." Baki cleared his throat, "We're weapons. And as weapons, we need to focus more on nourishment than taste."

The genin groaned.

Iruka smiled and made his way towards the kitchen, "Kids, your teacher is absolutely adorable, isn't he?"

When they chorused in their agreement, Baki groaned in embarrassment.

His soulmate was adorable. There was no way to get around it.

~..~..~

So the schedule for the next few one-shots will be as so:

If you have any ideas, please PM me or leave a review!


	7. BakixOrochimaru Succesful KonohaCrush AU

Chapter Title: _ Living Inside a Delusion (Allow him to Destroy Me)_

Summary: For his weakness, Baki knew he deserved only the worst.

Succesful Konoha Crush AU.

Pairing: Baki/Orochimaru

Warning: Dubious Consent. Mistaken Identity and what some might consider to be Identity Porn. Don't read if you're not okay with stealing of identities or implied sexual content and physical abuse.

Please, enjoy!~

..~..~..

There was a sharp nail trailing over his spine. It had begun at the top of his shoulders, gliding down carefully into the curvature of his body. It was sharp, but it wasn't digging into him. This nail didn't want to hurt him... at least, not yet. It was just... _caressing_ its owners handiwork from the past night.

"Enjoyed last night?"

The voice was one he knew. Baki had known it for most of his life. But the intonation was off. The melodic lilt was _wrong_. The teasing and the dragging of words... they weren't the way he was supposed to speak.

"As always, my Lord."

He struggled to swallow for a moment. Then he coughed and the freshly carved wounds in his back began to sing in agony at being jostled once more. Beside himself, he winced.

There was an appreciative chuckle behind him.

"You're so good for your Kazekage, Baki- so good at following orders."

Rasa was supposed to speak harshly. His words were almost always a harsh bark, if not a coarse growl. There was no melody to the way he spoke; no cadence.

Deep down in his heart, Baki knew this man wasn't his Kazekage.

But he _wanted_ him to be.

"You've done an excellent job of strengthening our borders from any retaliation. And your prowess in keeping control of our rowdier shinobi..." the deep voice was now bordering on breathless, as if absolutely taken aback by Baki's efficiency after they had successfully invaded Konohagakure. "I believe you deserve some kind of recompense. Don't you?"

Baki didn't know what to answer.

He was always at a loss for what to say when such an option was laid out in front of him; when something he clearly yearned for was dangled right before his eyes.

When this had begun, all those months ago, Baki had been over the moon. He was, _finally_, receiving the attention he most wanted from the _man he most loved. _

Since he had first met Rasa, he had loved him. A childhood crush had continued and evolved into an adulthood lament. Rasa had always seen him as a brother. Never anything more. And Baki had never had the heart to confess to Rasa about his true feelings. And because Rasa was always more caught up with politics and the Village than with romantic interests... Baki had just accepted that all of his love would have to be shown through his devotion to his Kazekage- _not_ to Rasa.

When the Kazekage had begun to contemplate invading the Hidden Leaf, Baki had immediately known there was something off with the only man he had ever loved.

It hurt to admit... but it was around this time that the Kazekage had first invited him into his bed. And Baki, weak as he was; _wanting as he had been_; had accepted the invitation.

From the very beginning, Baki had _known_ something was off about his Kazekage. He had been painfully aware of the fact that Rasa would never willingly target the Hidden Leaf without provocation. His forbearers had worked hard for peace and Suna's safety... it just didn't make any sense for the man to suddenly wish to invade the Hidden Leaf and destabilize them. Baki had _known this._

But he was finally able to be in his Kazekage's bed... He was finally able to kiss those chapped lips; caress that scarred skin; hold the one body he had wanted to hold all his life... and he had allowed himself to indulge delusions.

"Answer me, Baki."

The voice was sharper now. It was still rhythmic, as if crooning to a melody unheard by all but itself. But there was an edge of irritation to the melody.

Baki had come to learn that this man did not like being ignored. And if one didn't answer a clear question he made, it was obvious he was being ignored.

His voice came out in a soft whisper, "Y-yes... please."

The dark chuckle was expected. Much like the sudden digging of sharp nails directly into the small of his back. Baki winced but soon breathed out and allowed his head to fall onto the pillow beneath him.

"So good for your Kazekage."

The phrase always cut him deep. The man knew this. That's why he so enjoyed using it. Not one conversation passed in which he didn't remind Baki of his greatest weakness.

How vulnerable he had been... how weak he still was...

He was living a lie. They both knew this.

"I shall be taking you, then. I have meetings I must tend to in the afternoon, so I cannot be caught in any undignified state. But as the leader of this Village, I can assign you a day off whenever I deem it fit. And considering what I wish to try this morning- after the _tantalizing_ display from last night-, you will need all the rest you can before you return to work."

Rasa would never have fucked him. Rasa would never have allowed Baki to fuck him either. Rasa would not have ever even _imagined_ invading the Hidden Leaf Village. Rasa would have never turned Suna into a military state. Rasa would have never returned to Suna and militarized it after he had demolished the Hidden Leaf's defenses and killed their Hokage. Rasa would never have been so eager to absolutely destroy everything Baki ever was.

Rasa would never have allowed _any_ of this to happen.

Baki had lost Rasa. But he still had his Kazekage. A Kazekage that rejoiced in torturing him physically and mentally; a Kazekage that cared little for him as an advisor and preferred him quiet and pliant; a Kazekage that considered him more of a _lap_ _dog _than a competent ninja, yes... But a Kazekage, nonetheless.

"Do you believe you need for me to prepare you?"

Fresh pain began to trail down his back as the man over him dragged his unnaturally sharp nails down to his ass. Baki knew he was bleeding once more.

He knew he deserved worse than this for what he had done.

Konoha had fallen... and all because he had wanted to be loved.

He deserved the worst this man gave him.

"I do not feel like preparing you. Your Kazekage wants you _now_."

His Kazekage...

He didn't have Rasa anymore.

But at least he still had his Kazekage.

~..~..~

So the schedule for the next few one-shots will be as so:

Baki/Zabuza

Baki & Sand Siblings bonding time

And I need one more Baki-pairing for the tenth and final chapter. If you have any ideas, please PM me or leave a review!


	8. BakixZabuza Missing Nin-Husbands AU

Chapter Title:_ Screwed_

Summary: Baki could say with complete certainty; with absolutely no wiggle room that gave him the luxury of questioning said certainty; that they were absolutely, one hundred percent, positively _screwed_.

Pairing: Baki/Zabuza

Missing-nin AU!

Please, enjoy!~

..~..~..

There had once been a point in time when Baki had a plan he would follow without any kind of deviancy.

Falling in love had never been part of that plan.

"They're looking for us."

"Then you should keep quiet."

Zabuza frowned at him, then made a whole show of looking at the bush they had stashed their four _kidnapped_ _children _within.

Baki frowned back, "They're not snoring. You're being overdramatic. We'll be fine if you just don't do anything brash."

At the moment, Sand ninja were canvassing the forest they were hidden within in an attempt to find them.

"Brash?" Zabuza barked out an amused laugh as he nestled himself deeper into his chest. "Brash was what I did to those pesky Mist nin. Oh, no. What I'd do to the Suna shinobi would be thought out and perfectly executed."

Even though he couldn't see his unofficial husband's mouth, Baki knew very well how those demonically sharp teeth would be peeking out from thin lips in a clearly vicious smile. And the image of such a sign of confidence had Baki smiling down at the other man.

Instead of answering the Hidden Mist native, Baki simply tightened his hold on the other man's body and allowed himself to relax against the trunk of the sturdy tree. And then he just began to revel in the comfort of having their kids sleeping peacefully nearby and his husband in his arms. Even though they were currently in somewhat danger, he was more than aware of how powerful his husband's control over genjutsu was. And most of Suna's regular ninja weren't adept enough at spotting genjutsu to dispel the one that was currently covering their tree and the kids bush.

"I'm just saying, if we'd left those kids in Suna, they'd be well taken care of and we wouldn't have to worry about highly specialized shinobi attempting to hunt down the Kazekage's three children." Zabuza's shoulders bumped uncomfortably into his chest as he spoke, but Baki didn't allow himself to react.

If there was one thing Zabuza loved, it was attempting to rile him up. And there was nothing Baki loved more than seeing his husband's disappointment when his antics received no such reaction from him.

"And I'm just saying that I wasn't about to leave those three with Rasa. Not now that he's lost Karura. And not with Sasori on the loose. No, they're safer with us." Baki shrugged back, making a show of lifting his forearms and running them against Zabuza's own stomach.

There was a soft growl of annoyance from the Mist native, then he huffed, "Four kids are the perfect deterrent from the sex I want. So you can't fault me for not liking them that much."

"You'll get your sex once we've found a stable bed." Baki huffed back, then lifted his right hand up to poke the man between his ribs. "Besides, if my memory isn't failing me, it was _you_ that ended up at _my_ doorstep with the first kidnapped child."

And now Zabuza raised his left hand and began to wave it noncommittally, as if waving away Baki's words. "Yeah, yeah, but you were the one to kidnap the _Kazekage's_ three children. If I messed up, you _screwed up,_ Baki-bastard."

With a roll of his eyes, Baki threw down the ultimatum that always allowed him to win any stupid argument they took part in. "And you were the one that said yes to marrying me."

Zabuza scoffed, "We're not legally together, Baki."

"Ew, we forsook the law when we kidnapped those kids and became missing ninja."

As always, that got a chuckle out of Zabuza. "Yup. Fuck those laws. They were stupid. We swim down our own stream."

Once, Baki had followed the plan he had set out for his life at an early age. He had kept his eyes on the prize that would be becoming a jounin and he had never strayed in his loyalty to his Village. He had followed orders faithfully, never questioning what he was asked to do. He had never talked back to those that were higher up in the hierarchy than him and had chewed out others that had dared be so foolish and impulsive.

But then he had met a certain sharp toothed bastard from the Hidden Mist and the young child he had saved from certain death... and all illusions of following a perfect plan had been shattered. For some reason beyond him, he had actually fallen in love with this crass and sometimes cruel man.

Well, he knew all the reasons as to why had fallen in love... he just couldn't tell Zabuza unless he wanted something _else_ for the man to be able to hold over his head.

"Anyway, those brats are going to be waking up any minute now... and we haven't slept at all."

Baki _did_ frown at that.

If there had been one thing he had not thought about before abandoning his Village, it was the fact that he would get very sleep because of all the effort he had to put into looking after their four kidnapped children to make sure they didn't kill each other or somehow get themselves killed.

He heard Zabuza's smile in his voice when he then continued with, "Don't tell any of them, but Kankuro is seriously my favorite. He takes so much after me... I can't wait 'til he's old enough to try and kill me."

Baki frowned, _again_.

"I've already explained to you, Zabuza, in Suna-"

"Shut up. I'm raising those guppies as if they were my own."

Baki sighed but allowed silence to fall over them.

When the time came, he'd explain to Zabuza that murdering someone's parent was _not _seen as a badge of honor and pride anymore.

~..~..~

So the schedule for the next few one-shots will be as so:

Baki & Sand Siblings bonding time

And the final chapter (at least for this moment in time) will be Baki/Obito!

Hope you enjoyed this little blurb! Please review and tell me what you thought!


	9. Injured Baki & Scared Sand Sibs

Chapter Title:_ Poison_

Summary: Baki was injured. They had never seen him injured before. And... they were _scared_. Baki was... he was _Baki_. Nothing was supposed to be able to hurt him. He was supposed to be immovable, like a sturdy stone in the middle of the desert. No matter what came, he was supposed to be fine... but this time... he wasn't.

No main pairing. Just Sand Siblings bonding with Baki.

Please, enjoy!~

..~..~..

Temari blamed herself. She knew Kankuro and Gaara were dumb enough to think that they too were to blame. But the fact of the matter was that if she hadn't gotten overzealous, Baki would never have had to step in and stop the sword that had been aimed at her heart.

He was taller than her by a lot- the sword had impaled him through his ribs. Temari had felt her whole body go numb when he saw the metallic tip covered in blood after it had broken through her teacher's back. She had almost lost all consciousness from the punch the enemy ninja had landed on her because she had been so stupidly distracted.

Baki Sensei... had insisted he was fine after they had dispatched the rest of the enemy ninja. He had closed up the wounds as best he could and told them they had a mission they needed to finish. They couldn't return to Suna as failures, he had insisted.

Like idiots, they had believed him.

The sword had been coated in poison. Healing the skin had sealed the poison within his body. There was literally no explanation to how he had survived the poison. The doctors had sworn it was a miracle he hadn't died- specifically because he hadn't gone to the hospital until two days had passed since he had gotten stabbed.

Of course, Temari blamed herself.

She wouldn't cry, though. Because she knew that Baki would scold her if she did that.

So she sat by his bedside, watching his much too peaceful face as he remained in a medically induced coma... if the doctors hadn't put him under when they did, they had risked him suffering a seizure so bad he may have acquired irreparable brain damage.

They didn't know when he would wake up. They didn't know _if_ he would wake up. And... Temari hated herself for having committed such a rookie mistake.

She should have been paying more attention to her back. But she had been so focused on getting rid of the strongest ninja- and all because Kankuro had said she was too weak to take him down by herself- that she had almost died... And now her teacher had paid the price.

"Wrong time to ask this, I know... but... what'll happen to us if Baki dies?"

Kankuro was an idiot.

But he was right in asking that.

Temari breathed out and looked over at him, only to find him fiddling with a tiny puppet on the ground of the hospital room. She recognized that puppet. It was the first one Baki ever gave him- back when their teacher had noticed that Kankuro had an affinity for puppets. He had never told them where it came from- Kankuro insisted it was much too sophisticated for someone that _wasn't_ a puppeteer to have made it. Temari had wondered what had happened to it.

Now she knew. Kankuro had kept it. Even with all of his whining and petulant behavior... he had kept the tiny puppet in pristine condition.

He seemed to be adding a scorpion's tail to its back.

"Let's not think about that." her voice was hoarse- she hadn't spoken since she had found out Baki had been admitted into the hospital three days ago. "He'll pull through."

Gaara grunted from his perch at the head of their teacher's bed.

Three days ago, Baki had entered this room. It had taken Gaara only a few minutes to decide that he would not move an inch from the spot closest to their teacher's head. At the moment, Baki's mind was at its most vulnerable. Any sudden movement could ruin his brain forever. Gaara... must have stayed there to not allow any harm to come to the man.

Temari sighed and nodded at her youngest brother.

He didn't need to say anything; she understood.

* * *

Kankuro knew that if he had been protecting Temari's back, none of this would have happened. But he had talked a big game about her biting off more than she could chew- she had chosen to fight the big guy even when Baki had told her she shouldn't go in alone. So Kankuro had instead left her to her fate- he had talked a big game, but his sister was one of the most badass ninja he knew, she could take care of herself- and had instead helped Gaara run interference on the arrows that were raining over them.

Their mission had been simple: Find an traitor that was selling information about their village. They'd found the guy, knocked him out, and dragged him back. But midway through their return to Suna, they had been ambushed. So they had needed to fight off the traitor's buddies.

This was all his fault.

As he finished tightening the bolts on the new appendage he had just added to his most sentimental puppet, the door into hospital room opened up.

A man with bright red hair that bordered on pink strolled inside the room. He didn't bother a glance at any of them as he made his way towards Baki. Clad in doctor's garb, Kankuro didn't think much of his appearance. He must have been yet another doctor sent in to try and explain to them that Baki wouldn't be moving for at least another week.

Not like any of them cared. They weren't leaving Baki's side.

Kankuro failed him once. Never again.

"Baki, the Spectre of the Sands." The doctor's voice was deep and gruff, dusted with complete disinterest. "I never thought he would be the one laid out by such a poison."

Kankuro frowned.

"If you're here to judge our incompetence in the field, we've already gotten chewed out. You can leave if you're not going to get Baki to wake up in the next day." he growled, turning a harsh glare on the stranger.

Gaara was glaring at the man with nothing short of angered distrust. And Temari was staring at him through narrowed eyes. None of them were in the mood to get chewed out. And because of his words, they were now wary about him. No doctor had yet talked to them in such a manner. They had all walked on eggshells, trying to prepare them for their teacher's death. A death that would _not_ come.

It couldn't.

They didn't have any family left... Baki... he was all they had.

Kankuro's eyes stung with tears at the thought.

"Irrelevant. I'm here to save this idiot." with a dismissive wave, the doctor opened up his jacket and pulled out a needle filled up with a bright blue liquid. "Baki-Sensei. Remember propriety."

Not a second later, Baki's whole body was covered by Gaara's sand.

The doctor didn't even blink at the occurrence.

Kankuro could hear alarms blaring within his mind. There was something _off_ about this guy.

"Are you a poison's master, child?" the doctor turned a lazy glare on Gaara, "If you are not, then move that sand out of the way. I have the antidote for what is killing your teacher. And if he does not receive it in the next," with a pause, the doctor glanced at his wrist. Then he frowned at Gaara, "Within five minutes, his brain will begin to shut down. Do you want to be the reason your teacher died?"

Low blow!

"Now listen up, you pompous-"

The sand beginning to shift, slowly moving away from Baki's body, made the words die in his mouth.

"If Baki-Sensei dies, your death will not be swift."

The doctor stared at Gaara for a second before murmuring, "Cute".

* * *

Even though his siblings blamed themselves, Gaara knew there was only one person to blame for his current state.

Baki had told him to take care of the aerial attacks. But he had gotten careless. He had allowed a few arrows to slip past- he admitted it, he was overconfident and wanted to add some excitement to what was an otherwise easy fight.

Kankuro had stopped the arrows he had allowed to slips past, forgetting to watch Temari's back. Temari had not seen the attack the Kankuro was supposed to have stopped. Baki-Sensei had been forced to step in and throw himself onto the attack to stop it from killing his sister.

Under any other circumstances, Gaara would not have allowed this stranger to inject their teacher. But... knowing that it was _his fault_ that their teacher might die... It had not take much convincing for Gaara to think the man knew what he was doing.

There was none of the usual time consuming preparation for the man to prepare himself. As soon as he had a clear sight of Baki's crudely healed wound, he had stabbed the needle harshly into the man's stomach. Baki-Sensei's body had jolted minutely and a soft groan had left his lips.

First, the man shook his head. "His healing is still atrocious, I see." and then he shrugged, "Pain means he's still capable of feeling. That's good with this kind of poison."

Once all of the blue liquid had been pushed into their teacher's body, the man pulled the needle out. With some blood trickling from the entrance point, the man covered up the gnarly patch of skin where Baki-Sensei had been stabbed. Then the hand began to glow; when it was pulled away, Baki's stomach looked as it had before he had gotten stabbed.

Silence fell over them all... then Temari cleared her throat, "Who are you?"

As he threw out the needle into a waste basket, the man grunted, "An old friend of Baki's." after he had said this, he nodded over at her. "Good night."

"What? It's not even... six..."

His eyes... were suddenly _very _heavy.

"You'll awake in twelve hours."

Gaara tried to move- tried to attack the doctor... but he wasn't able to take a single step in the man's direction before he fell to unconsciousness.

* * *

Genin are much too easy to fool.

With a sigh, Sasori glanced over at the red headed child currently on the ground. The Akatsuki needed him... but they didn't need to know that Sasori had easy access to him right now.

When Baki awoke, it was with a gasp.

Honestly, it was kind of... cute, in a _how quaint_ sort of way to hear that the first question out of the man's mouth was "Where are my kids?"

Sweet. The kids cared for Baki. And Baki called them his kids.

Tooth rottingly sweet.

"If I had human teeth, I might risk cavities in this room." he commented sardonically, then leveled Baki with a cold stare. "What were you thinking throwing yourself on that blade? That was meant to have killed the girl."

Baki blinked in absolute stupefaction at him.

"S-Saso-"

"No matter." he interrupted, "You got lucky this time, idiot. I was around to hear that you had captured one of my spies. And I felt kind enough to save your stupid life."

"What?"

"I'm getting bored of your utter lack of understanding of the situation." he stood up, glanced around the room, and sighed, "Try not to die. The Jinchuriki seems to like you. He might go mad if he lost you. And you don't want to leave three orphans as your legacy now that Rasa has failed these kids, now do you?"

Baki and he had known each other for most of their lives. It was exasperating to know that the idiot had barely changed in the years that had passed since he had defected.

"Wait, Sasori,"

"It's nice to know you don't hate me as much as you insist you do. The puppeteer seems to enjoy that puppet I gave you well enough."

He made his way towards the entrance of the room as he spoke. But right before he opened the door, he turned around and glanced back at the man.

He was... looking at the ground, fondly taking in the sleeping forms of his students.

A phantom ache appeared at the part of his jaw where he had once suffered a cavity.

"You're all idiots. Try to stay alive and keep these alive. Suna needs capable shinobi to protect it now that I've left."

"Thank you."

With a roll of his eyes, he left Baki to his students.

Feelings were so stupid.

He hated it... but it really was nice to see how much those four cared for each other.

~..~..~

Please review!


	10. BakixObito

Chapter Title: Hasta que Caiga el Sol (este amor continuará)

Summary: Ever since the day he met Baki, the strong and levelheaded genin from Suna, Obito only knew one thing with one hundred percent certainty: Baki was different. And he liked different.

Baki/Obito

Please, enjoy!~

..~..~..

They had attacked as a unit. Minato-sensei would have been proud if he had been around to witness such synchronization on their part.

The genin from Sunagakure were transporting some kind of document- they weren't sure what kind, but that didn't truly matter. The world was at war. Suna was the enemy. It was only obvious they attacked the enemy unit now that one of them had left to find water.

And they would have won, too, if not for the third enemy appearing out of nowhere and shifting the tides of battle as soon as he had managed to utilize one jutsu.

Obito and Rin had gone after the red haired girl. She was clearly a long-ranged expert that would be overwhelmed by their short-to-mid-range expertise. And Kakashi-Baka could deal with the boy while his teammates dealt with the girl. Once they were finished, if the idiot needed help, they would offer it.

Unlike most Suna ninja, the girl hadn't immediately begun to fight them off. Instead, she had sought to distance herself from them- possibly to gain enough time to prepare an attack against them. But he and Rin chased after her, jumping from tree to tree, without allowing more than a few inches of space between them at any given time.

They ran circles around the fight going on below them, never straying too far from the explosive battle. Obito knew that this was the kunoichi attempting to stay close to her teammate and find a way to help him out- but he also knew she would never be able to shake them.

After a few minutes of this repetitive game, the girl became desperate. She pulled out a kunai from her pouch, eyes focused on Kakashi as he tried to break through a rather solid defense of sad. Obito knew what she was going to do, it was pitifully obvious. So he waited for his moment to intercept- and it came in the shape of the girl shifting her feet ever so slightly so she could propel herself and fly at the ground- possibly to attack Kakashi and try to catch him off guard.

He jumped away from the branch he had been just as the girl threw herself down.

But his body didn't manage to knock hers out of the way. Instead, he was blown back by a powerful gust of wind unlike anything he had ever felt before in his life. Rather than going forwards, his body was flung backwards, left to crash unceremoniously against a large tree trunk behind him.

When he managed to stop his head spinning, it was to find that his female enemy wasn't any better off than him. And when he turned to look at Kakashi and his opponent, it was to find a harsh looking line-like crater between their feet, a separation born from destroyed ground.

"Sunagakure and Konohagakure genin are _not_ to be fighting!"

Obito frowned when he heard that voice- it was angered and sounded slightly proud. He hated people with too much pride.

Turning in the direction of the voice, Obito found Rin staring at the newcomer. And she was failing horribly at covering up how awe-struck she was with this new person.

Just like the other two genin, he was dressed in unassuming desert dwelling clothes. But where the girl stood out in her shock of red hair and the boy stood out in the harshness of his features, _this_ genin stood out in how distinct his face was... well, _half_ of his face. The other half was covered up with a turban and a cloth.

His dark eyes were glaring heatedly down, specifically, at Kakashi and the other Suna boy.

From the hitai-ite on his forehead, it was plain to see that this was the third teammate that belonged to this genin squad from Sunagakure.

"Karura, Rasa, did I _not_ tell you to frequently look for updates on the war front?"

Obito couldn't help but stare... was this guy really _scolding_ his teammates right now? In the middle of a battle?

"They attacked us, Baki!"

The visible half of the boy's lips pulled into an angered sneer and his only eye seemed to become even more enraged. "So you attack them back? Maintain a level-head! Talk to them and let them know of the first terms Konoha and Suna have come to in an attempt to begin to end this war!"

The boy with the brown hair- Rasa, right?- frowned and crossed his arms, then looked away from his teammate. "They attacked us."

"We didn't know about this agreement, Baki. We didn't get to read any updates before we left on our mission." the girl offered quietly after she pulled herself up from where she had crumpled to the ground. "We were irresponsible."

Obito blinked.

And then that enraged dark eye was on him, boring an accusing hole into his soul. "And what was your plan, Konoha children? Were you going to continue chasing after Karura, leaving an ally to face off against a dangerous adversary alone? That idiot has exceptional control of sand. One wrong move- that white haired fool is pierced through the heart. If anything, two of you should have been attacking Rasa. Karura is long-ranged, but has a lot of stamina; you picked the wrong person to chase."

As he... _chewed them out_, the boy jumped down from his tree and began to make his way closer to the people on the ground. He turned his back on Rin- as if she wasn't a _threat_.

"Hey, wait a second-" he began to argue back, only to shut himself up when that piercing gaze threatened to shut him up.

"Patience and knowledge are the ultimate factors that determine a victory. None of you have those qualities. You should _all_ be ashamed to call yourselves genin." as he said this, though, the boy walked towards Obito... and he prepared himself for an attack he knew would come.

Honestly, he was left somewhat disappointed when the boy offered him his hand, rather than throwing a punch at his face.

"Let me look at your head. You landed wrong- you need better air control so you don't smash your head against trees ever again, by the way." the boy's voice softened ever so softly as he helped Obito up... and then began to look over his head for possible injuries... and Obito really began to wonder if this was real life or a coma-induced hallucination.

Obito continued to blink at nothing as soft yet heavily calloused hands ran over his scalp, checking to make sure that he wasn't hurt too badly. Faintly, he noticed Rin moving to apologize to the red haired girl, all the while Kakashi and the other boy continued to make a point of glaring at each other. But he was much too surprised by the gentleness of this boy's hands to truly notice that all fighting had truly stopped- Konoha and Suna had reach a tentative peace within this moment in time.

~/~

"Wait, so that was, what, exactly?" he asked Baki through narrowed eyes.

"I simply call it Slicer. Although I'm sure it's been called by a dozen different names- it's a rather basic wind-style jutsu. I just summon wind and propel it forward. It slices anything before it, while pushing currents to the side, knocking anything on either side backwards."

He was now staring incredulously at the other boy, his plate of food forgotten beside him. "That's _not_ a basic attack. That's at least chunin level."

As he chewed on one of the pieces of jerky Rin had cooked, Baki hummed. And after he had finished swallowing, he closed his eye and shrugged. "It was one of the first jutsu I ever learned. Unlike other genin, I did not have the luxury to take my preparation for shinobi life lightly. To become the Kazekage's elite guard, I have to be better than sufficient- better, even, than outstanding. I have to be perfect."

This guy... did he just insult him?

"Perfect enough to be sharing your life story with an enemy?" Obito jabbed back, receiving a satisfactory feeling of victory when Baki choked on his rice.

And when he began to splutter about how he knew what he was doing, he wasn't being overly trusting, Obito decided that this guy was kind of like Kakashi, but a much better version of him. He was a genius and clearly a prodigy. But he was a trusting idiot.

"How is your injury?"

Obito smiled at the abrupt shift in conversation, but allowed it.

"Better, after you healed me up."

This guy was... kind of amazing. Stupid, sure. But he was also stupidly _unique_. He even knew healing jutsu.

Even though he had been the one to cause a small concussion, he had also been the one to begin healing it.

Baki was different.

Obito liked different.

* * *

Baki was three years older than him. He was on a team with Rasa because he was the Kazekage's only son. And Karura was on their team because she was the heiress of one of Suna's most important clans. Baki, in essence, had been held back from a promotion to chunin after a genin career of two years of solo-work so that he could protect them both.

Just as he had noticed the first time he had met, Baki was absolutely much too trusting. As serious as he was about the perfection he needed to strive for to achieve his life-long dream of becoming the Kazekage's Elite Guard, he didn't really seem to know when to shut up about his own life.

"Anyway, happy sixteenth birthday, Obito."

Four years had passed since they had first met. They had become good friends after the war had officially ended and they had begun writing often to each other. Obito saw this idiot as the only trustworthy friend he had that didn't belong to his team. (Even though, the more he learned about the guy's prowess in battle, the more he wished to have him on his team- it would make missions go by _so much faster_)

With a smile on his lips, Obito clinked his glass against the one Baki offered to him. Then they both began to drink from their totally-sober water, seeing how they were technically on a job at the moment.

"I don't know how you managed this, Baki, but you're an absolute genius. Joint mission with my best bud? Never thought this would ever happen in my life."

Baki chuckled softly, but soon shook his head and began to try and minimize the importance of what he had done for Obito. "Suna's been talking about improving relations with Konoha for years. This just seemed like a good idea. And I doubt we could fail this mission-"

"Just us, we can't fail. But it's a good thing none of our teammates are with us."

Baki sighed and Obito allowed his head to rest against the other's sturdy shoulder. They were sitting side by side on a bench that had been left at the very top of a cliff. He didn't know why it was there, but he _was_ grateful for it. It made watching the sunset with his best friend _so _much easier.

"I still don't understand why they don't get along."

Ah, it seemed that it was _that_ time: the serious conversation time.

Obito shrugged softly, "Well, we kind of tried to kill them the first time we met them. Maybe your teammates have a reason to hold a grudge."

Baki grunted, "They do not. I gave you a concussion and you are now my best friend. If we can become such good friends, they can at least be civil to each other."

"Let's be honest, it's mostly on Kashi-baka and baka-Rasa. Rin and Karura don't have any harsh feelings, but they're easily swayed by those two."

With a heavy sigh, Baki shook his head. Obito had to shift slightly when Baki's body moved minutely, but soon the other was apologizing and stiffening his body. Obito smiled and allowed his head to rest against the shoulder beside him once again.

"Suna and Konoha are not enemies anymore: there are no more excuses."

"Now, now, Baki, you're forgetting the human factor of stupidity."

He didn't have to look at his friend to know that he was now pouting. And Obito found a small surge of humor run through him at this. Baki was so predictable and absolutely simple. It was no wonder how he was so driven.

"Anyway, we should get moving. We've spent enough time sun-gazing."

With a heavy frown, Obito groaned.

Baki laughed at him.

Obito _really_ liked that laugh.

* * *

He didn't notice he was in love until he was twenty-four years old and attended Baki's twenty-seventh birthday party.

All of his life, he had thought that Baki was his best friend. This was a guy he had seen grow up before his eyes; shared victories and defeats with; trusted with his _life_... Baki was such an important part of his life that he had never even actually questioned, within himself, what the guy meant to him... until he saw _Genma Shiranui _getting too close.

They had been out celebrating Baki's greatest accomplishment while simultaneously enjoying his birthday... there had been drinks, faceless and nameless strangers, and incredibly good times...

But Obito was now glaring at Genma, trying to disintegrate him through sheer willpower alone, and Kakashi was drunkenly laughing at him from his left.

"Why don't you just walk up to Baki?" Karura whispered into his ear, being much more sympathetic than one of his supposed teammates. "

"Because I don't understand why I feel like I want to kill Genma." he explained bluntly, never taking his eyes off of his target.

Baki was laughing softly at something the idiot had said- but it _wasn't_ a completely genuine laugh. It was half-genuine, half-forced. At least Obito knew _he_ could make Baki laugh wholeheartedly.

There was silence in the table around him for a few seconds, but he didn't even notice it.

"What do you mean you don't know how you feel?" Rin questioned, "Obito, are you alright?"

He scowled now, "Of course I'm not! Genma's there, bothering Baki, and Baki's too nice to tell him to buzz off! And I just really want to punch that guy's face- have you ever noticed how truly punchable it is?"

"Heh, Obito's an idiot." Kakashi hiccuped.

"Shut up, you're drunk."

"But I'm not." Rasa, uncharacteristically, spoke up.

In the years that had passed since they had first met, Rasa had become much more serious and likable. He was much like Kakashi when he was younger in how he took himself seriously. But the years had dulled his pompous personality. And he was smart to speak sparingly... _Normally_.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush as the girls would do. Obito, you're in love. Have been since the day Baki concussed you to stop us from killing each other."

It took some time to digest those words... and then it took some more time to _understand_ them.

By the time he had finally made heads and tails of what Rasa had meant, Baki had returned to their table with their drinks and a hurried apology for having taken too long. He slid into his spot beside Obito absolutely naturally and handed him his saké, letting him know that it was chilled, just like he liked it.

And for the first time in his life, Obito's face reddened because of his absolutely stupid _feelings_.

~/~

Baki was an excellent kisser.

Pushed up against the wall of the other man's hotel room, Obito couldn't help but think that he was kind of an idiot for having taken so long to find out that his feelings for his lifelong friend ran much deeper than just friendship.

And from Baki's enthusiasm, he guessed that his feelings were reciprocated.

The kisses had at first been small and stolen. As the night had passed and the alcohol had flowed, though, he had become much braver. And Baki had responded eagerly. Now they were lost in each other and Obito didn't want to ever find a way back.

He kind of wanted to hit Baki when he pulled away from him.

"Are you sure you want to do this? We can stop now; forget all about this-"

"I love you."

Now Baki was blinking down at him, in a manner very similar to how Obito was blinking up at him.

"Wait-"

"I love you." he repeated as Baki's hands slowly let go of his wrists. "I kind of figured it out tonight, but, yeah. I love you."

Baki didn't step away from him- that was good. But he seemed to be more in shock than anything- that wasn't so good.

"Uh... be... mine?"

He was an idiot, apparently, when it came to his feelings.

Baki bit at his lip, all the while he closed his visible eye. And a deep chuckle rumbled through him, leaving Obito just as shocked as Baki had previously been.

"You don't have to ask that. I've been yours for a while now."

Obito blinked, once again. "Really?" and then he smiled. "Nice. Well, you're mine now too. So, there. Husbands."

"Wait, Obito, no, that's not how-"

Obito silenced him with a swift kiss. And from the way that Baki never brought the issue up again, Obito knew he wasn't against the idea of being husbands.

* * *

"Well, it wasn't the exact post you wanted, but it's kind of similar, isn't it?"

Baki had been looking over the folders of Konoha's finest shinobi so he could hand-pick the next generation of the Hokage's Elite Guard when he walked into the room. And Obito wasn't able to stop himself from pointing such a thing out.

"Being the Hokage's Elite Guard Team Leader, amazingly enough, entails a bit less work than being the Kazekage's own." he hummed conversationally as he continued to look over the files. "Rasa is more of a child than he would ever want to admit."

Obito smiled at his husband, even though the man didn't see him, and just... _admired_ him.

This was a good life.

He was pretty sure Baki was the reason why it was so good.

~..~..~

I was supposed to be sleeping but I finally found some inspiration so I wrote this in one sitting! Who needs sleep when there's stories to write, after all? Sorry for mistakes and for having taken so long to finally post this! But I really do hope you enjoyed what I wrote!

I will be taking an official break from this now. Officially, this'll be complete. But, really, I've got some other requests for Baki-centric fics, so I will definitely continue updating with them. I just won't be focused too much on them.

Please review!


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